realized that

So i realized today that my son turns 1 in 19 days. and to be honest i'm kinda freaking out. sure i'm excited to see him grow up and become a little boy but all at the same time i sit back and think about where did all my time go? I feel like this year has just gone by soo fast and there is nothing i can  do to slow it down. even though i dont want it to slow down because i'm so excited to see what happens but all at the same i want to take my time getting there.
Not only am i excited to see my son grow up but i'm also pretty excited to see what happens with my boyfriend. i'm not in a rush to rush things with him i'm just excited to see what happens. i tend to wonder often how long it will last and everything else like that.. when it comes to thinking about him i feel like i'm a little girl in grade school... but i have not written my name with his.. it seems too childish to do that and wayyy to soon. But i'm still super excited. the hard part is is he wants to travel a lot and i dont have a problem with it i just will miss him lots. i mean i would love to go with him and see the world i just have a son who comes first. But anywho on another note i'm super excited for christmas it should be pretty amazing. :)